“Go as deep as you can into life,
and you will be able to let go of even blossoms.”
– Ryokan (1758 – 1831), Japanese Zen poet.
Enlightenment is a state in which there is such a depth of peace and satisfaction that there is no desire for anything more or different. If we are really present in this moment, this is enough.
I spent years longing to become enlightened. I had experienced a glimpse of enlightenment when I had an awakening during a meditation retreat in 1997. I became aware that prior to this I had been unconsciously suffering. Seeing this, there was really no option for me but to try to free myself from my suffering. This became my only real desire and I was driven by it.
Sitting with a group had great benefits. The group energy definitely had a strong effect on my practice, but I noticed that meditating under the guidance of an enlightened teacher had a huge effect on me.
Everything was mysteriously intensified when the teacher was present. Sometimes I would experience an energetic vibration in various parts of my body, or a feeling of deep peace. Sometimes there would be a disturbance in my mind as it tried to cope with something unfamiliar that it couldn’t explain.
It was a slow process of breaking down habits and beliefs, and the teacher was the catalyst. I eventually realised that my deepest habit was the belief that I exist as a separate self. Once I fully realised this, all fear disappeared.
Linda Clair
