“…really there’s no you – no separate you – and when you discover that, the fear of intimacy just goes, because you realize you’re just the same as everyone else.” – Linda Clair
Q: The fear of intimacy has been coming up a lot for me lately. I seem to hit it, and can’t break through it. What is this fear and how can I move beyond it?
Linda: It’s everyone’s major blockage, because if you open up completely and let someone else come in and see you for who you are, there’s this great fear that they will discover that you’re a fraud. The mind’s fear is that someone is going to see through you. But really there’s no you – no separate you – and when you discover that, the fear of intimacy just goes, because you realise you’re just the same as everyone else. Everyone is one. There are no separate people – persons. Everyone is in their bodies while they’re alive, but really, energetically, you realize you’re not this separate self.
To fully realize that, you have to gradually break down all your attachments – let go of all the attachments. Every time the fear arises, you need to see it as clearly as possible, and know that it’s not real. This takes a lot of practice. Most people are walking around with this knowledge: I’m a fake. I’m putting on this persona to protect myself. But there’s nothing to protect. When you let go of that, there’s an enormous relief, because you know that there’s nothing you have to hide or protect any more.
That’s what most people want with a partner – to be so close to someone – particularly in the physical act of making love – that you feel like you’re one with that person. To feel one with someone, something, everything, is love . . .