Question: I’ve been feeling quite a bit of pain during sitting meditation. Any suggestions?
Linda: People don’t talk about pain much in meditation, but it’s a big part of this whole practice. Most of you will feel it at some time. Feel it and don’t try and change it or get rid of it. Try and stay as neutral as possible with it. Look at the wanting for it to go away – where does that come from? Watch your reaction to it – the mind’s reaction to it. Be aware of that subtle hope that it’s going to go away.
We’re conditioned to think, ‘Pain bad, pleasure good.’ Our lives revolve around avoiding pain in whatever form – emotional, physical or mental, and seeking pleasure in whatever form. We’re very rarely just in the middle, which is where pleasure and pain meet. We’re always moving away from pain by seeking pleasure.
Keep coming back to the body. You’re not going to like it, you don’t have to welcome it and say, ‘This pain is great!’ but eventually you see the value in it. When you have quite strong pain during sittings, it keeps you here. It forces you to be present. And really, you have to be forced into this state, into the present moment. You’re not going to go willingly. Your mind’s not going to let you go willingly. So the pain – really facing it – is like facing your fear, your fear of pain. Sitting with it for quite long periods really opens you up.
Question: How does pain help take you deeper? It seems like a huge distraction – a barrier . . .
Linda: You’re just making it a barrier because you’re reacting to it and saying it shouldn’t be there. Nothing needs to be a distraction.
Sitting with pain will also extend your limits, the limits you put on yourself and what you see as pain and what you see as pleasure. So when does something start to become pain? When is it pain? What is that point and how much of it can I bear? It’s a really interesting thing to look at.
The pain forces you to be here. When it’s incredibly intense, there’s nothing you can be thinking about except, ‘God, when is the bell going to ring?’ It gives you strength. The more you sit with it, the stronger you become. And of course it’s not pleasant, but in a strange way, I used to crave it. When I was sitting and feeling quite cloudy and hazy, it was awful, but when I was in pain, the pain kept me present. It kept me awake. It kept me alert. You can’t go to sleep when you’re in intense pain. It was then that I started to see the value of the pain. It would come in and I’d go, ‘Oh my God, this is awful’, but I wanted it. I really wanted it. It’s the short cut that everyone wants but it’s not pleasant at all.