It’s very difficult to be really vulnerable . . . We learn at quite an early age to protect ourselves, to protect ourselves from getting hurt. So we start to build up these layers so people can’t see who we really are. There’s this fear that if someone sees who we really are we’ll get hurt; we won’t be good enough; we won’t be liked. So peeling away these layers, which is what we’re doing here, takes a lot of strength and in a way, a lot of bravery because we’re revealing who we are, we’re becoming more and more open, not hiding anything.
And I can say it’s such a relief not to have to pretend anymore; not to have this underlying feeling of being a fraud; not to have to hold things together. I really wonder how I did it for all those years.
It’s particularly difficult for men to be vulnerable because they’re taught to be strong, to protect, to not show their feelings. It doesn’t mean that you’re never going to be hurt when you’re really vulnerable, but eventually there’s no fear there, no fear of being hurt. So there’s no desire to cover up anything. You just become completely natural and open.
So look into yourself. Look at your fears and see that it’s only your fear that’s holding you back. It’s no one else, nothing else . . . it’s just your fear.